The Pentagon Perspective w/Colonel Alexandra

As it appeared in IWL Magazine Volume 88

(3) PENTAGON PERSPECTIVE w/Colonel Alexandra

1. I'm in control here.
Let me make it clear that I control the General's
contract and as long as I have anything to say about
it, General Pentagon will be doing what I tell him to
do or he's out of the IWL for good. Now, this whole
stunt he pulled by not letting TIC take care of
business and eliminating the IWL's superwhore, the
Empress of Darkness, for good. Oh no, he's got to
get a sudden attack of conscience and stop what
needed to be done, all rumors that I'm actually not
concerned about this, but instead using it as an
excuse to maintain of the General's "lucrative"
contract is a load of crap.

2. #1 Heavyweight Contender: Vindicator
Oh lookie here, the Vindicator, gets another shot at
a championship. Give me a break, this guy may be
talented, but he's got no shot against General
Pentagon. General Pentagon has been steamrolling
over the competition and the Vindicator will be no
different. General Pentagon already took care of the
other half of the Alliance of Justice, known as
Xavier Stone at Survival of the Fittest in a
Lumberjack match, and at War of the Ages, General
Pentagon will take care of the other half of the AoJ,
by climbinb that latter and reclaiming the IWL
Intercontinental Championship.

3. New General Pentagon Website
For all of you who care, which should amount to maybe
10 hits to this website, the Pentagon has issued this
website for all of you morons who have nothing better
to do. The address for the website is
http://www.fortunecity.com/olympia/zatopek/261/

4. The Return of Dale D'Amico
Dale D'Amico has returned to the IWL and I've only
got one reaction to this fact: yawn. Dale, you're
time in the IWL has come and gone. Ya know in the
CWO they labled you a midcarder on their webpage, and
let me tell ya, that here in the IWL the suits may
not have the guts to call ya that, but that's the
only way they'll book you. Yeah, General Pentagon
may respect you as a wrestler, but he's obviously delusional at this point.

As it appeared in IWL Magazine Volume 83

PENTAGON PERSPECTIVE w/Colonel Alexandra

1. Heavyweight Title Scene

Well, General Pentagon has got quite a few enemies who want a shot at his world title. First, we've got KFC Blake. Now, sorry Mr. Anarchy, but you're totally lame, and your time as a heavyweight contender should have been over a long time ago. It seems you've been able to mount some kind of comeback, too bad it won't last longer than a month or two, you just don'thave the ability to defeat General Pentagon, so don't even waste our time. Second, we've got Xavier Stone. Xavier Stone is nothing but a big talking,small action kinda guy. We all know these types of guys, the guy who swears he drives a Porsche 911, lives in a mansion, but instead drives a 1979 Oldsmobile. You say that the General hides behind my skirt. First, I hardly ever wear skirts to the ring. Second, the General doesn't hide behind anybody. But see, we're two different types of people, he doesn't like to insult the competition, I DO! Get it, maggot? General Pentagon has authorized me to inform you that your challenge has been accepted and that TIC will not get involved if nobody tries to ruin the integrity of the IC title Match.

2. The Inner Circle

Well, the Inner Circle continues to dominate the Internet Wrestling League and there's nothing that the AoJ or the old TIC dinosaurs can do about it. I hear that Slam may join the Alliance of Justice: Who cares? I don't. The Capitol doesn't. Nobody does, Slam's career has been and will always be viewed as a complete waste of time, and if he wants to join the "New"/"Old"/"Outdated"/"Stupid" Alliance of Panzies, than go ahead, I'm sure you'll fit right in with those "winners". By the way, in case you haven't noticed I'm using sarcasm.

3. The Pentagon Pit

The Pentagon Pit will be back on your television sets in the near
future, keep your eyes wide open for this historical flash!

4. Everything Else in the IWL

If it doesn't involve the General or me, it ain't important so don't even bother wasting your time.

5. The Awards Show

I better win lots of awards, the world knows I'm the best damn manager in the world, the hottest woman in the IWL, and the smartest person to ever utter the letters IWL, so if I don't win, we'll know it was a conspiracy made to suppress my talent and it won't work!