Pentagon's News Releases w/Lt. Bill Moyers

August 13, 1998

What does the General have to do now? Who does he have to beat? Deathcall, the Capitol, the Empress of Darkness, the Vindicator, Disciple, the Dark Jester, Warlock, Savage Steele, Dead Meat, Dale D'Amico...anybody else you can think of? Who does he have to defeat to get some respect around here? Bottom line, the General's never cared about that. He's never cared about the reaction of those who compete against him, but I do. I just don't get it. The irrationality and stupidity of people like Savage Steele just goes to show you how idiotic "athletes" who spend a little too much time working their muscles and never exercising their brain. Savage, I don't know what you think you're going to gain from a loss to IDP, but hey, we'll find out because the General has decided that the time has come. I have filed the necessary paperwork, a match between you two should be signed soon. Next topic that needs to be addressed is the Capitol. I don't understand how the General and the Capitol is NOT the main event matchup! No offense to anybody else on the roster and scheduled but even though I don't like the Capitol, the guy is a main eventer, and so is IDP. Take a look at Los Angeles Dynamite and the match looks like a midcarder. What's up with that? I know, a bunch of smartasses are saying, see it just goes to show you that IDP and Cappy are old and out of shape. But, anybody who says that is just retarded. People said that about IDP when he lost the World Title, then shut their traps when he won the World Tag Titles with Vindy, then they said that about him when he lost the Tag Titles, then shut their traps when he won the Heavyweight Championship and held it for the longest reign in IWL history. Now, they've said it again. It seems that championships are the only things respected around here. Well, what about the fact that IDP has competed continously in the IWL since January of 1997. What about the fact that he's spent just as much time as a champion in this league as he has not a champion? Bottom line, all the insults and all the comments are just poorly masked expressions of jealousy. Hey, Colonel, how do you like life in a hospital? You got yours, bitch.

July 11, 1998: The Demise of Callahan

We at the Pentagon are predicting the fall of Jimmy Callahan at the hands of the General. The world of wrestling was shocked when Colonel Alexandra betrayed General Pentagon and helped Jimmy Callahan defeat him with the aid of her mase. Well, for al of you who need a history lesson on this feud, here it goes. A long time ago, the Colonel expanded her managing duties by managing both the General and Jimmy Callahan. She claimed her greater loyalty was to the General and that she was only testing out her talents. Well, apparantly Jimmy got sick of the Colonel and dumped her on national television. A few weeks later, the General and the Colonel attacked Jimmy and humiliated him. But, all of this appeared to be an elaborate scheme to sucker the General into a compromising position. To defame his honor, the Colonel demanded that he join TIC, an institution he had been fighting since its inception. Then, once the Colonel had secured that no one would trust him, she betrayed him and hoped that no one would come to his aid. But, the Empress did, and now payback is going to be a bitch. In the Steel Cage Surrender Match, the General is going to beat an apology out of Callahan.

June 25, 1998: Post War of the Ages

What a night! The General is still somewhat of a mysterious man to even us here at the Pentagon. We never know what he's gonna do next and we were every bit as shocked at War of the Ages as anybody else. Never before has the General no showed and his decision to leave the Inner Circle to defend the one person who helped him in his time of need was definately within the General's moral character. The Empress of Darkness must have really helped the General for him to give up his cherished title and to give up a chance to defeat the Vindicator for his gameplan to have its most efficacy. What kind of relationship will the Empress and the General have now? Who knows? I sure don't. But, it should be interesting. The news that I am here to discuss has to do with what is on the Pentagon agenda. First, a challenge has been issued to President Krai for a Steel Cage War Match against Jimmy Callahan to finally settle the score. Secondly, the General is preparing for his match against the Capitol for next Wednesday and rest assured that that match should be THE MAIN EVENT of the evening and I'm sure it will be. Third, Vindicator, I believe your title reign will be shortlived if a match is signed between you and the General in the near future.

June 14, 1998: Pre-War of the Ages News Release

I have not been able to get a hold of General Pentagon lately, so for the Pentagon's official selections for War of the Ages are being made by me as of Pentagon Policy before June 5, 1998. What am I talking about? Well, before every supercard the Pentagon will release its picks for who should win the matches at the supercards. No, these are not predictions about who is going to win, or who is going in with the most momentum. It's about who the Pentagon favors in each matchup. Thus, if you're an enemy of the Pentagon we're going to put you in the loser's column. So here it goes.

War of the Ages 2

Battle Royal Matchup: IWL vs. WWO vs. WOW vs. CWC vs. NEW-A vs NLWA

Pentagon Selection: IWL, why? Because, IDP at least was a member of this league until June 5, 1998.

World Title Match--Submission Rules

The Capitol* vs. Oriana

Pentagon Selection: The Capitol. The Capitol is a member of the General's stable, the Inner Circle and we support our stablemates in all of their endeavors. Plus, it is no surprise considering the fact that the Empress of Darkness is one of the greatest enemies of the Pentagon in all of our history.

Intercontinental Title Match

General Ike D. Pentagon* vs. The Vindicator

Pentagon Selection: No brainer, IDP. Yeah, everybody's saying that the Vindicator is going to walk out champion because of all of the trials and tribulations that the General has gone through, but if IDP does show up and is somehow cleared to wrestle, you can expect him to clean the Vindicator's clock, like he's done so many times before.

Cruiserweight Title Match

Oriana, the Empress of Darkness* vs. Jimmy "The Joker" Callahan w/the Antichrist as his manger.

Pentagon Selection: Oriana with great hesitation. Look, the Pentagon is fans of neither of these two wrestlers and we hope that they kill each other in this matchup. If the Empress has the guts to fight, she may win, but her chances of defeating the Capitol will go down the crapper. Basically, we hate the Antichrist, Alexandra, and we hope that the Empress manages to keep the strap away from her.

World Tag Title Match

Victoria's Secret* vs. Bluebell vs. Chicago's Finest

Pentagon Selection: Chicago's Finest. They're in The Inner Circle, that's all we've got to say about that!

June 5, 1998

In what was a completely shocking night for the Pentagon, on Wednesday Night Rumble, Colonel Alexandra TURNED on General Pentagon. This is truly a day that will live in infamy here at the Pentagon. Well, in case you're wondering where my loyalties lie, they rest 100% with General Pentagon. There is a problem with Colonel Alexandra's decision to turn on IDP, if she uses her power of attorney to keep IDP out of an IWL ring, she could do so. We at the Pentagon are expecting the Colonel to take legal action to prevent General Pentagon from returning to the IWL and there is a rumor that the Colonel has burned the General's contract and sent a video of this to the IWL show, Hysteria. We have hired a group of lawyers to look into this situation. On a side note to all this, General Pentagon has dissapeared since Wednesday. He was treated for minor injuries at a hospital near the venue, but some individual(who is at this point unidentified) visited the General at the hospital and checked him out. His current locations is unknown to even us, here at the Pentagon.

June 1, 1998

Rumors that General Pentagon was shot dead in Pakistan are completely untrue. At an undisclosed time ago, General Pentagon was in Pakistan retrieving a top secret disk from Pakistani agent, Marabi. However, he survived and was able to stop an attempted theft of the disk by Chinese Intelligence. The scene was capture by a Pentagon camera and will be released to the public as soon as possible.

On the wrestling side of the Pentagon, the Intercontinental Champion would like to extend his congratulations to the new #1 Contender for the IC Title, the Vindicator. As many of you konw there has been quite a history between General Ike D. Pentagon and the Vindicator and the wrestling world is guranteed one hell of a fight at War of the Ages as IDP defends the IC strap in a Ladder Match. General Pentagon feels that he took care of Xavier Stone at Survival of the Fittest and at War of the Ages, General Pentagon will conclude the complete defeat of the Alliance of Justice single-handedly by taking care of its leader, the Vindicator.

May 28, 1998

In latebreaking news, it has become known to me and others around the offices here in the Pentagon that General Pentagon and Colonel Alexandra are not on speaking terms. It appears that she is very angry over his actions in the recent past including his allowing the Empress of Darkness to win the Olympic Battle Royal and his sparing the Empress of a possible career ending attack at the hands of Pentagon's stable--TIC. The Colonel has moved out of her office here at the Pentagon and vows to have a "long discussion" with the General. The Colonel is also upset at the fact that the General has made moves to gain control of his contract from the Colonel, many believe that the Colonel's reaction to the General's latest actions are merely a pretense for maintaining control over the General's lucrative contract with the Internet Wrestling League, reportedly worth millions of dollars over the next couple of years. As of today, the Colonel still has power of attorney over all Pentagon relations dealing with the IWL.

Regarding the issues in Pakistan today regarding the testing of nuclear weapons, General Pentagon has known of the possibility of the Asian subcontinent turning into a hotbed of nuclear controversy, rest assured that General Pentagon is on top of this information and has been sent on a top secret mission regarding this.

Introduction: 5-25-98

Greetings friends of the Pentagon to the new Pentagon webpage. Now, the function of this page is to provide you with all relevent information regarding the affairs of Lieutenant General Ike D. Pentagon and his staff. His staff includes his chief-of-staff, Colonel Alexandra, who handles all of the General's most important military and wrestling business, his secretary, all the brave marines under his command, and me. I serve as the Colonel's right hand man with a focus on the General's military business. But, I have become increasingly involved with the General's wrestling affairs. Now, today is the first day of the webpage and there are gonna be absolutely no promises of updates on a completely regular basis, because as well know in the internet world, those promises are hardly ever kept, and the General will not allow us to make a promise we cannot keep. But, rest assured we are committed to providing all the fans of the Pentagon with a resource to turn to.

In the news today, as we all know General Pentagon is fully supportive of NATO expansion into Eastern Europe, but he fears that the increasing size of NATO could fragment internal cohesion if too many nations with competing interests become part of the alliance.

In wrestling news, at Survival of the Fittest, General Ike D. Pentagon RETAINED THE IWL Intercontinental Championship and defeated Xavier Stone in a Lumberjack Match. The General continues proving time and time again that he is the greatest IC Champion of all time. Now, I'm sure a lot of people are upset with what role TIC played in the main event at Survival of the Fittest. However, in a match with no rules, there are no rules and the Pentagon stepped up to the plate and delivered for the alliance he is a member of, TIC. For those who criticize him on the basis of honor, recall that the match had no rules. Vindicator, if you believe that the actions that IDP took against you were personal, you are sadly mistaken, it was business and the Pentagon did what it had to do.